"Nature does not hurry [or worry], yet everything is accomplished." Lao Tzu

I was running late to work the other day. My alarm hadn’t gone off, so I woke up with 5 minutes to get ready and get there. It’s doable, but the timing has to be just right. In my angst to get moving, I was snorting, hissing, and pshaw-ing anything and everyone who got in my way.

Of course when I’m not in the midst of a crisis, it’s easy to say something a long the lines of, “step back, breathe, etc.” which is good advice. But I know that when I am in the middle of whirling chaos on all sides, real or perceived, no matter how minor, I have a head-knowledge of how to react. But that insight doesn’t always match up to my behaviors.

I read a very inspiring post by Akaya Windwood, which I loved. She tells about how she made the decision to stop worrying. Yeah, who hasn’t? I’m sure everyone has made that decision at more than one point in their lives. I know have. What made the difference with her was, she knew she would need to replace her ingrained habit of worrying with something else. She chose trust. So whenever she found herself worrying, she changed her worrisome thoughts to trusting thoughts.

She says, “Much to my surprise, I found that not worrying increased my capacity to attend to what was in front of me. All that energy I’d been using to worry was freed up for me to use in much more creative and interesting ways—like helping to change the world….”

“When I stopped worrying, it made a big difference in how I showed up in meetings, to my partner, and with my friends and family. I had a clearer head because it wasn’t all fogged up with rat-in-the-wheel worry. I became much more effective. And people noticed.”

I am going to try this week to change my worry and hurry into prayer. I encourage you to change your worry into something else as well. Let me know what happens.

image credit: flickr.com

Three Questions

“It once occurred to a certain king, that if he always knew the right
time to begin everything… he would never fail in anything
he might undertake.” Tolstoy, Three Questions

I read Tolstoy’s Three Questions, the other day, and fell in love with it! This is the first of the three questions Tolstoy’s Emperor deemed imperative for success. It got me thinking, how do people determine when to act, to pursue an endeavor, to act upon a decision, or anything, really?

I would hope that in such instances as the story illustrates, helping a feeble man out, as well as reviving someone to life, that all of us would act at that moment. But it represents a larger picture. What spurs people to action?

You can ask any number of people’s advice, and get the same number of answers. If you asked my dad, for instance, he would bring out his calendar, and a yellow legal pad and map it all out with charts, graphs, and a Venn diagram for good measure.

When any sort of decision had to be made, [much to the chagrin of my more abstract mother and I] the legal pad was out [it is never far away]. Whether my parents were deciding to make the move from upstate New York to Charlotte to deciding whether to buy a Ford as opposed to a Honda, the legal pad was out, covered with my notes written in dad’s all-caps print.

There’s something comforting about lists, I’ll grant you. I’ve been known to bring out a legal pad for big decisions. Anything more elaborate, and it’s easy to forget what my original aim was.

If you asked my boyfriend, he would say, to go the Nike route, and Just Do It. He said that the things that have worked best for him is when he didn’t plan or analyze, but just acted.

Many times, there is no time to plan, you have to just act. The Emperor saw that the Hermit needed help immediately, he didn’t wait until he had the correct equipment or his work shoes. He jumped right in. When they both saw the dying man stumbling on the field, they stopped what they were doing and acted.

Our decisions are ultimately influenced by self. How can I best meet MY needs?
There is really nothing wrong with that, we are programmed that way. If you happen to be strolling in the jungle one day, you will not find too many lions looking out for any other lions, but themselves, [except mother lions, of course]. But one could argue that she is looking after a part of herself,

We, humans have been blessed with higher functioning brains than any of the jungle creatures. Along with our self- centered reptilian brain, we have two other reasoning, considering, brains. The neocortex and the limbic system. We are able to consider whether our instincts are appropriate, and help others, when we see a need.

c.2011
image credit: http://quacked.com

A Reptilian Witchhunt

In 1692, stress got the better of Salem, Massachusetts. Betty and Abigail Parris caused a mayhem that I’m not even sure they could have predicted. All manner of townspeople were imprisoned, some even put to death upon their accusations of witchcraft.

Betty and Abigail were two daughters of Reverend Samuel Parris. The girls loved to spend time reading books about prophecy and fortune telling, which were quite popular in New England at the time.

The girls of the town would form groups to act out the magic and fortune telling they read about in the books. They invited Tituba, a slave from Barbados to join in. Tituba had many of her own mystical tales to tell. She told their fortunes by dropping an egg white into a glass of water, interpreting the picture it formed. This started the paranoia in Salem.


The girls were displaying convulsions, which at first I thought they were doing on purpose as a cruel trick to accuse the people they didn’t like of witchcraft. But then I read about ergot poisoning, a fungal infection derived from rye bread, which did indeed cause convulsions.

The doctor was called in to treat the girls, but couldn’t find any physical cause for the behavior [he didn’t know about ergot poisoning] and simply said that they were bewitched. Let me begin by saying that Puritans believed in ghosts. Indeed, their testimony was even permissible in court. So this was a more valid fear for them, than for us. Today this would seem an outlandish diagnosis, but since there was no physical explanation for the convulsions, and since the belief in ghosts, and their ability to harm people, was plausible at the time, this was not so far fetched.

The unexplained has confused and vexed people for as long as life has been.
‘Twas no different in Salem. The predominantly Puritan townspeople of Salem found themselves unable to explain certain behaviors, and therefore created their own narratives to explain them.

17th century life was a little tense, to say the least, especially in the colony of Massachusetts. There were economic tensions. There was always the threat of an attack from warring Indian tribes as well as rivalry between colonists. Not to mention the various epidemics that spread through the area, small pox, as well as the aforementioned ergotism and encephalitis poisoning.

The townspeople were reacting from fear. Any reaction from fear is going to be potentially dangerous. It is for our protection, after all. Fears that are not rooted in reality will produce ridiculous reactions, at best. But often they will produce very harmful reactions.

Even prominent people were not exempt, including the Governor’s wife.
More than 150 people were accused of witchcraft and put in jail, 18 put to death.

And then the witch trials ended as quickly as they began. Apologies were issued, losses were compensated. But the harm was done, all because of the stress of some unchecked fears.


c. 2011
image credit: elfwood.com

Just another day in the ER...

“It was the wildest thing, ever,” Sam said. ‘It was so scary, but everyone just snapped to action. They just did their jobs, moving on auto. ”

My co-worker, Sam’s mother works in the ER of our local hospital. Sam told me of a day she had been visiting her mother at work. Everything was running normal, they were even enjoying muffins someone had brought in. The EMTs had a free moment to chat leaning against the ambulances, when a “gang drop” occurred, which is when a gang will drop off a member who has been shot, cut, or otherwise injured, to the ER. The hospital is required by law to treat them.

They rolled the guy in. No one was shouting like they do on ER, or even talking, except the nurse who was quietly relating the specifics to the doctor. They asked the usual questions to the patient, like “Do you know your name, and do you know what day it is?”

“It was almost like watching bees. Everyone was moving. They all knew what they were doing. It was very fluid, very precise. It seemed very natural. He was in and out in a matter of 60 seconds. They knew what to do quickly and how to do it.”

This is a prime example of one of the benefits of the brain stem. The adrenaline produced will spur you to action, and it is your reptilian brain which will cause you to perform your duties unfettered by nagging thoughts and second guesses. Which ordinarily might be good, but not when time is of the essence.

Let me make a disclaimer, these are trained professionals. This stuff is second nature to them. They KNOW what they are doing, they save lives many times a day. You wouldn’t want me, in my untrained, very stressed out, reptilian mode, anywhere near you with a surgical knife.

I asked her if she was scared [I know I would be]. She implied that the calm manner of everyone else eased her fears. “I wasn’t scared, but worried about my mom. They knew exactly what they were doing”

She said Everything went back to normal when he left. I hate to leave you hanging. I wish I had a more conclusive ending, but no one knows what happened to him afterward. Did the gang pick him up? Did anyone follow up, make sure he was safe? Did he remember anything? Did it change his life for the better. I wish I knew….

Thank goodness the people in the ER are used to this, and know how to react to a literal life or death situation. Not only does it save lives, but it gives us laypeople a practical, up-close look at the stress response in action.




c. 2011
image credit: flickr.com

Want to lose that belly fat?

So, you’re eating right, you’re exercising, but you can’t seem to get rid of that gut? Check your stress.

I remember I used to think that stressing out about stuff, [especially with my subsequent fidgeting], would actually help keep me in shape. Little did I know that I was doing the exact opposite.

That is because when we are stressed, our bodies produce a hormone called cortisol, which protects the organs by storing fat around them. I’ve mentioned before, our bodies can’t tell the difference between a physical threat and an emotional threat; real or perceived, so it will respond the same.

In an experiment done with rats, the stressed out rats gained larger bellies. What was interesting was, that as the bellies expanded the stress levels decreased.

A friend of my dreamy boyfriend’s decided that he needed to change his lifestyle. Reducing stress was a huge part of it. So he intentionally decided to make a few schedule changes, which drastically improved his stress level, and his overall well-being.

One change he made was making sure that he was eating dinner at home. This ensured that he wasn’t over working himself and that he was eating right. It also gave him more time with his family. The second thing was that he made sure that he fit exercise in. He had tried running, but that was largely contingent on the weather, so he picked indoor activities that he knew he could do at any time, such as swimming and yoga.

Not everyone is free to make such drastic changes, but here are a few to get you started.

Tricks to lessen stress:
• BREATHE
• You may want to try limiting caffeine intake: Some studies have shown caffeine to be a culprit in this phenomenon. This is not for me.
• Exercise. When you are stressed about too much to do, exercise often is the first thing given up. This is the last thing you should cut out. Exercise changes the way you respond to stress, so by all means, make sure you are getting exercise of some sort.

Of course a lot of factors play in to a person’s weight gain, or loss, diet, metabolism, genes, etc. This is just one aspect, but one that many perhaps don’t realize.




c.2011
image credit:flickr.com

Accepting the unacceptable

I was on David Bembenek’s radio show last week, and he asked a question that I admit, I couldn’t really answer intelligently, off-the-cuff. And, to be honest, I’m still not entirely sure, but I have gotten some more clues.

The question was, “[given the all encompassing nature of the fight or flight stress response], why was the response to the recent earthquake in Japan, contrasted with the response of hurricane Katrina so different?”

He was referring to all of the looting and crime that happened in the aftermath of Katrina compared with the seeming placidness of the Japanese in response to the earthquake.

How do stories like; the 13-year-old boy who had been home alone; after the earthquake struck, rode around the neighborhood on his bike, yelling out, ‘is everyone alright?!” jibe with the selfish nature of the reptilian brain?

I was literally brought to tears when I read about a businessman who had been waiting for the train in the cold and the rain, when some homeless people offered him their boxes, saying, “you’ll be warmer if you sit on these.”

While it is true that people will usually behave selfishly when they are thinking with their reptilian brain [or brain stem], some people are able to “upshift” to their more cerebral, or thinking brains a little better in times of trauma.

I think Japanese were more able to do this because of the way they are trained to handle difficulty. Earthquakes are fairly common in Japan, so they were a little more prepared than their American counterparts. They were not taken completely off guard. The closest thing I can liken it to would be to a diabetic, who suffers from seizures frequently. It certainly doesn’t make the seizures any less serious, or scary, but the diabetic’s response would be a lot more different than mine.

Some would say that the close family ties also add to their ability to handle disasters. They take care of each other, not out of obligation, but out of respect and loyalty.
“There’s a lot of orderliness in Japan,” Josh Smith, a Japanese musician with an oddly American name, explained. “Sometimes it can seem redundant and boring ... but at times like this, where there really is chaos there’s a feeling that, ‘well this is the situation, we just have to deal with it.’”


It’s not so much a matter of being free from the selfish effects of the reptilian brain, but learning how to upshift more quickly. I think we can all take a lesson from the Japanese on this.

c. 2011
photo credit: flickr.com

Another reptilian moment

I had my own reptilian moment the other day. As many of you know, my dreamy boyfriend and I play trivia obsessively at different local bars. One Tuesday, after working my job at the Curves’ in our town, I was tired, hungry, and very thirsty.

When I met up at the bustling newest location, I flagged down a waiter, who asked what I was drinking. I said, “just a water.” He promptly put down a beer.

I sat there, confused for a while, wondering if my boyfriend had perhaps ordered it for himself [I don’t drink]. So I asked him, he said no.

I, then, spent the next 10 minutes trying to find my waiter, who had disappeared, it seemed. By then I was desperate [not to mention cranky], so I stopped the next waitress that I saw.

“I asked the waiter for a water, and he gave me this, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t water,” I said, snidely.

She went to get my water. As she placed it down, she said, “He thought you said Sweetwater. He doesn’t hear too well,” and moved on to the next customer.

“Oh,” I said, as my parched throat and empty stomach gave way to shame and embarrassment.

My boyfriend said, “I wouldn’t be so snotty with someone who handles my food.” The food part aside, I don’t really want to be a jerk to anyone.

The next time she came by, I apologized, saying, “I really didn’t mean to be snotty, I was just confused.”

She kind of shrugged and said it was fine. However, whenever we come back, and she asks me if I want my water, I feel a tinge of shame.

image credit: flickr.com
c.2011