Helen Keller, a lesson in optimism

c. biography.com

 After learning of Gertrude Bell, I started seeking out more female role models that are not necessarily talked about in your average history class. Then I started reading more about the ones who you may have heard about: Helen Keller, Amelia Earhardt, Sacajawea…. History is full of inspiring stories beyond the generic template lessons we learn in school.

I just finished Helen Keller’s short essay, Optimism, which is available for download. I recommend everyone read it. [It’s free, you have no excuse].

If anyone seemed to lack the tools to be optimistic, it would seem Helen Keller, for certain. Yet, she writes an essay all about the need; indeed, the practicality of optimism.

She points out that all progress is powered by a will that things can be better, a presumption of accomplishment. She believed that “optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.” She points to the history of our nation…the history of anything, really. No idea can be carried out without optimism.

Being blind and deaf, it is for sure that the people around her, aside from her parents, weren’t too optimistic that she would do anything significant. But her parents didn’t treat her as a victim. They treated her just as if she were a normal child, with high expectations.

Reading not only about her successes, but her attitude makes me more than a little guilty about my whining when things don’t go my way. She overcame more than I ever will and kept a positive attitude as an adult. When she was very young, she describes her early schooling;

“The few signs I used became less and less adequate, and my failures to make myself understood were invariably followed by outbursts of passion. I felt as if invisible hands were holding me, and I made frantic efforts to free myself.”

How often do we feel that way, despite having full use of all of our hearing and speaking? Can you imagine how hard it was for her?

But free herself, she did. It was all in her attitude.

c.2013

Moving on up

c.the oxfordplacediaries.blogspot.com

I want to begin by apologizing for not updating this blog in probably over a month. I actually have several starts and stops that I will eventually post. I’ve been on the ride of my life moving to my new home.

So after a long searching process, finding my dream home; and a longer closing process; fraught with bureaucracy and delays, I have been moving into my townhouse.

It’s just across town; Simple, right?

Well actually, 12 years of accumulated stuff is much harder to get rid of when you’re moving just a short car ride away. I found myself less inclined to toss, despite my boyfriends many pleas. [Yes, I really need to keep all of the many drafts of the graphic design project I did in college. They are cool to look at]. I’m surprised he didn’t just make secret trips to the dumpster, actually. It required numerous car trips back and forth and two large Uhaul trips.

Going through that many years of disorganized stuff is humbling, to say the least. Towards the end, I just wanted to toss it all.

The third night we came home to the security alarm going off. I certainly didn’t set it.

As the blaring sound became more deafening by the minute, I frantically looked for the scrap of paper with the code that was given to me at closing. Of course I couldn’t find it.

[It kind of left me wondering what the point of an alarm is, if it doesn’t sound outside the house (which I was grateful for), and doesn’t notify a police station. What is the good of the alarm if the only person it alarms is me?]

We are kind of running into each other, tripping over stuff, when we called the ADT service center printed on the alarm box.

Yelling through the mind stunting noise,

“No ma’am, I don’t know the code, but I live here.” I am doing little thinking and more reacting,

She is surprisingly sympathetic to me. I guess when you are an ADT operator, you are used to situations like this. She told me calmly, and in all seriousness,

“There are two wires, a red and a black one, pull either one of them.”

“WHAT?!  Can I pull both of them?!”

My ADT operator is probably more ok than I am with being yelled at. Not because she does a bad job, but just so she can HEAR me above the alarm.

“Oh NO, you just want to pick ONE,” she said firmly.

I had never heard of such a solution. Though I was uncomfortable with it’s ambiguity, I was content to risk possible electrocution than to listen to another minute of that noise; I yanked one of them, I forget which. Blissful silence ensued.

Our next discovery was that some of the outlets don’t work, actually a good number of them. When I couldn’t make coffee the first morning, I was so ready to move.

We called an electrician to fix the outlets. Ever hear of a GFI outlet? Why would you?

The neighbors are very cool. Not as many characters as the old place, which seems kind of boring, yet relieving at the same time. I still plan on writing a book, possibly a series, about my old neighborhood. It will probably go easier from a distance.

I absolutely LOVE my new townhouse, but I’m sure I will have many more adventures to post about. Stay tuned….

c. 2013

Uncertainty

c.www.bloomberg.com

Every time I glanced at the calendar & saw May 30^th circled, I would get a surge of excitement. [And not just because my birthday is the day before]. That was the scheduled closing date for my “new” condo. I am beyond excited. I am probably overblowing the fantastic-ness of it in my mind….but it’s pretty great.

Finally after all the weeding out the ‘maybes” from the “definitely nots,” and then the “absolutely” from the “maybes,’ it was all settled. We are moving to a much bigger, much cheaper condo not too far away from where we were. It is a new area of town, with lots of exciting, new things. I am truly dwelling in possibility, as Emily Dickinson describes.

May 30^th has come and gone....The word is that it might be the following week, but most likely the week after that. My lease is up June 30. I was indulging the idea of a leisurely month to move. We could take our time painting and making upgrades, not to mention that I have 12 years of accumulated stuff that I cringe at the idea of sorting through.

The idea of having to do it all in a weekend or a shorter amount of time scares me, but cutting it so close scares me even more. There is a distinct possibility that we could have a week where we are homeless. Our parents are there for US in a bind, but what am I going to do with my STUFF? [This is a perfect teaser for a future post I foresee on learning to letting go of crutches, props and material things, but I digress…]

It's comforting that the most upsetting thing is also possibly the most adjustable, is that my ideas and plans were infringed upon. This happens, and I should be used to by now. There are more certain solutions to my fears. I can pay for an extra month, I can put my stuff in storage, and stay in a hotel. These would definitely not be my first choice, by any means. But last resorts are still options. 

I am slowly learning to make friends with uncertainty.  I will deal with whatever happens. If it’s good…great! If it’s bad, I will have plenty of material to write about!

c.2013

Living your Dream: A Profile in Passion, Dr. Leila Denmark

Photo credit: Lynn Johnson

"Anything on earth you want to do is play. Anything on earth you have to do is work. Play will never kill you, work will. I never worked a day in my life."

Dr. Leila Denmark

I love to write about people who are passionate about their jobs. They really don’t work a day in their lives. It’s so inspirational! I found out about Dr. Leila Denmark while researching another project that I’m working on about amazing women in history.

In an age where medicine was a male-dominated profession, Leila Denmark stumbled upon her passion for healing. She grew up tending to the wounded farm animals on her Georgia farm. She had such a tender heart and a real knack for healing. This talent later translated to tending to humans. She was the only woman who graduated from the Medical College of the University of Georgia in Augusta.

In her 50 years of medicine, she treated thousands of patients in the private pediatric practice she opened in her home in 1930. But she also volunteered at the Central Presbyterian Baby Clinic, where she treated many more children of destitute parents who wouldn’t have been able to afford healthcare. She never turned anyone away.

It was there that she did the research, which led to her development of the invaluable whooping cough vaccine.

She never seemed to tire of treating the many children. Her grandson, Steven Hutcherson has said, “She would always say to the next family waiting in line to see her, 'Who is the next little angel?’”

She was a much sought-after doctor in her day. It has been said that she could determine exactly what was wrong just by looking at a child.

In the early 1960s, she began to handwrite her ideas and methods for childcare in  spiral notebooks. Those notebooks would become her privately published book, Every Child Should Have a Chance. It is her legacy, which has helped many parents who didn’t have the opportunity to get her personal counsel.

"She absolutely loved practicing medicine more than anything else in the world," said another grandson, Dr. James Hutcherson of Evergreen, Colo. "She never referred to practicing medicine as work."

 c. 2013

Worst first day ever

A.J. Clementes c. totallywp.com

 “F-----g s--t,” was probably not the best first phrase to utter on national TV on your first day as a news anchor.

First days on the job are generally not anybody’s best. I’m pretty sure I cried on my first day at Starbucks and I stumbled around so much on my first day at the Barnes & Noble Café, that they were probably ready to fire me right then. Several first days of my design jobs ended in fury, as well.

But A.J. Clemente had the worst first day ever….

His first job as a news anchor will not soon be forgotten. He was coanchoring at KFYR, an affiliate NBC station in Bismarck, North Dakota. He didn’t realize he was on the air when he unwittingly dropped the F-bomb. 

He was practicing pronouncing London Marathon winner, Tsegaye Kebede's, name, when the newbie let loose with a few other words that he, unfortunately pronounced all too well. Understandably startled, he stumbled through the rest of his newscast.

Van Tieu, A.J. Clemnte c. hot975fm.com

The poor choice of words left the station hustling for damage control, and Clemente hustling for a prayer of a second newscast, which he didn’t get.

His co-anchor, Van Tieu explained.

"We were caught off guard and [Clemente] didn't realize his microphone was on. And while that was no excuse - we do train our reporters to always assume that any microphone is live at any time - unfortunately we cannot take back what was said. But, we do apologize and hope that you may forgive us and rest assured, that something like this will not happen again," she said.

Stress and nerves will definitely cause us to act inappropriately. It’s certainly not the first time something like this has happened. I’m sure everyone remembers FOX News, Shepard Smith’s embarrassing slip, reporting on Jennifer Lopez.

He seems to be taking it in stride. After the incident, he tweeted.

"Unfortunately KFYRTV has decided to let me go. Thank you to them and everyone in ND for the opportunity and everyone for the support."

Mistakes are going to happen. Your recovery is what’s most important. This is good publicity for him.

"Rookie mistake," Clemente said. "I'm a free agent. Can't help but laugh at myself and stay positive. Wish I didn't trip over my 'freaking shoes' out of the gate."

 c. 2013

Moving out of my comfort zone

http://www.blippitt.com/

My heart sank every time I went into the house across the street that I had built up in my head as the perfect house. It was close and easy, but the one bedroom was too cramped.

Granted, I had never actually been in it. I just knew that I wanted to move there. It was the perfect location, basically across the street from where I am now. I had seen pictures and had built a storyline in my head about how perfect it was. How dare it not meet my expectations! I had been unceremoniously thrown into the unfamiliar waters of house hunting.

I literally feel over my head and a bit discouraged some days. I’ve got great advisors, but OMG there is so much to consider! Not just minutiae I know, yet forget; but a whole other language of considerations that I’ve never heard of!

Did you know that mortgage literally means death-tax? Seriously.

Short-sell… foreclosure…. Oh, and pre-foreclosure doesn’t actually mean it’s for sale, even if it has a “For Sale” sign in the yard. One price for investors; but you actually want to live there? Well, the price is much higher then.

Why are homes over a decade old in crappy neighborhoods so overpriced? Why is  the “tax value” and price so different?

I feel like a bewildered stranger in a strange land. The first day I went with my realtor, [my gracious “host” in the foreign land of real estate] to look at potential places. I liked every single one of them! They all have good and bad points. I don’t want to give up storage space, just because the loft is so darn cute. This one is perfect, but it’s too far from everything.

I’m on a bit of an information overload. So many choices. What if I make the wrong one? What if I have to give up my perfect location? My worst fear is that I’ll get all moved in and regret it.

 I may decide not to move, but I refuse not to move because I am overwhelmed. If I don’t move, it will be because I made a conscious choice not to; it will be because I have decided I am actually better off where I am, through sound reasoning. It will not be the result of my freaking out and going into freeze or flight mode, as I am very apt to do.

It sometimes occurs to me in more lucid moments, that on the rare occasion when freaking out can be somewhat satisfying in a cathartic sort of way, it is rarely helpful and more often damaging. It is so much more productive to breathe through the process, enjoy the ride.

Fighting and fleeing only postpone the stressors, making the circumstances much worse than if I had just dealt with them in the first place. But it takes higher thinking to discover that.

Some days you may still find me in my protective fort I’ve constructed with, objections, over-caution, and laziness. But I’ll make sure I have some home listings to peruse.

 c.2013

A lesson in parenting from supermom Maya Christopher

c. maya christopher

 “…Because you know I had a stroke and that was a big eye opener for me.”

A stroke, I thought, YOU’RE 34!

“I had no idea what was happening. I felt my face tightening up, I didn’t know what was going on.”

-------------------------------------------

I met Maya through a friend in the wonderful world of Facebook, after she posted this status. I had initially wanted to interview her about the stress of parenting.

My child just learned a tough lesson in being grateful. We never have a traditional Christmas in my household and open their presents early. I got her an iPod Nano and Lil Miss (while turning up her nose), "You couldn't et the BIG one?" ......... Well as it stands now she got tears and a $22 1Direction CD for Christmas. Nothing else. A small iPod is better than NO iPod. Not raising no ungrateful, spoiled, unappreciative kids around here. So while her brother enjoys $100 gift card and baby girl enjoys her toys; she'll be sitting here looking stupid. #NoPunkAssParentsAroundHere

I was so impressed! In an age where too many parents seem to be propagating an entitlement myth, it was refreshing to see good parenting in action.

So how did she respond?

She learned her lesson. The next day, she came and apologized. I said to her, ‘You still understand that you’re not getting anything for Christmas?’

She said, ‘yes, I understand.’

You’re not obligated to get these gifts. I don’t have to buy gifts. Christmas is not about gifts it’s about being thankful for what you have.

Anyway, her dad surprised her with Justin Beiber tickets.

Oh, very nice!

Maya shares custody of two teenagers and an 8 year old. They stay with their dad during the week, and see mom every other weekend and holidays.

I’m the disciplinarian when it comes to her. Her dad never really disciplines her. So, [He] is getting all the teenage trouble. I believe a lot of parents want to be friends with their kids, and if you want them to be active members of society you have to discipline them….They have their chores, I don’t baby them.

I’ve found that kids today are totally different from when I grew up. There’s no respect.

I became a parent when I was 20, I was a baby myself

I still go to my mom for help, we have a really good relationship. I try to mentor a lot when there are a lot of younger parents, like 12 year olds think it’s “cool” to become a young parent. No it’s not cool.

They have no idea that this is a child that you have to raise for the rest of their lives.

There’s a lot involved in being a parent, a lifetime job.

Back to the stroke,  How in the world did this happen?

It happened on New Years Day 2012. I was living in Louisville, KY at the time and was cooking, baby sitting a friends kids and about to eat. As I was chewing my food my face felt really tight. I went to the mirror and my smile was crooked. I immediately went to the ER and after many tests was told I had a stroke. I never had high blood pressure or any other health problems. I couldn't believe it. It took a minute to process I had a stroke and it left the right side of my face paralyzed.

But 33 year olds don't usually have strokes...

My body just finally got tired and just started pushing back

I would snack, snack, snack, snack, snack, and started gaining weight that was a wake up call.

I made the best of it though and used it to help others and become healthier and eliminate my stress.

How do you handle stress?

If I can’t control it there’s nothing I can do about it just let it go, it will work itself out. The big thing was that I learned to say no. I started to spend time alone, letting my brain relax. Working out helped a lot

First thing first, I pray and then you work out I pray about it and let it go.

So you do your exercise, and pray. The kids are agreeable about the alone time?

I would imagine they would realize the importance of it.

They are actually really good about that. Other people are shocked by that.

What sorts of things do you do in your alone time?

Things like walking, reading on the couch.

 How did your kids respond to the stroke? I’m sure they were scared.

We make jokes about it because that’s the way they [the kids] cope.

My son is my mini husband. We practice smiling.

We joke, we are still the same people our faces just don’t work the same.

How do your kids handle stress?

They are really open with me. They know they won’t be judged.

They can go to their grandparents and not be judged.

I have conversations with my daughter

I can pretty much hone in on what s wrong

c. 2013