Saturday, September 3, 2011

Dropping the Ball...

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Or, just as bad, being perceived as dropping the ball.

How are we to react? We are doing everything in our power to make things work smoothly, but for some reason it doesn’t; and we end up looking blameworthy.

This is a question I pondered after a rough day at work.

We’ve all been there. Things weren’t going as planned. Humans were being humans. I ended up looking as though I were dropping the ball. I was juggling it a bit; I managed to keep it above ground. But it didn’t look that way. I was responsible for a few mistakes, but not all of them.

Everything in me wanted to protest, It’s not me, I did everything right!! I could offer all kinds of reasons it went wrong, but I’ve found, in situations like this it’s pointless. I just sound defensive, it wastes time, and it really doesn’t make any difference.

Different people have different stories, feelings, emotions, etc. People create a narrative based on their perceptions. This becomes their reality. People are going to think what they think, whether it’s right or not. I know I have faulted others in my own head to fit my perception of reality. We can’t help it.

After discussing my day with my wise and dreamy boyfriend, he said some very wise words.

There is no such thing is an illegitimate emotion. If someone is treating you like crap, or you are just having a bad day, it is natural to feel bad about it.

Having said that, it is important to know that you are bigger than what somebody else thinks of you, how a certain day is going, your performance at a certain task, or even your opinion of yourself. You are not the voice in your head.

I was dubious. The voice in my head sounds a lot like me.

He continued,
I’m all for wallowing in how stupid and unfair the world, the system, and other people are, but sometimes my energy can be spent on better things.

I felt so validated. I had wasted so much energy worrying about it, feeling so guilty for things I couldn’t help.

I was rehashing everything over and over again in my head. Once I got over myself, I was able to forget about it for a few minutes, and take steps to productivity.


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