I like to be in control. Not of everything, mind you; that’s way too much work. I just want to only be able to blame myself should something fall through. I like to feel that I have a safety net. Which is a reason I don’t often try new things. I will every now and then, just to stir things up, but I don’t make a lifestyle out of it.
I hear of people who backpack across Europe, staying in hostels, thinking, I would LOVE to do that! The adventure sounds incredibly thrilling. I would love to be one of those people who could pack up their car, or hop a bus and just drive to a place they had never been, and transition comfortably to the new environment.
Many of my friends, on more than one occasion jet off to Europe, Canada, even just unexplored states several times on business.
The thing about it is, even if I were to adventure off to one of those places, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it until I got home. The whole time I would be grumbling about the uncertainty of it, the this-isn’t- how-we-do-it- at-home-ness about it.
Since new things stress me out, I try to minimize them. My primitive stress response doesn’t always behave very well under novel conditions. Knowing this about myself allows me to be on guard. It doesn’t always work, though. But at least I’m aware of it.
Not that it isn’t a good thing to sometimes “stretch” yourself, getting out of your comfort zone. It is always good to try new things, but if you are prone to stress, realize that you may be in fight/flight mode the whole time, diminishing any enjoyment.
However, it should be noted, when a new adventure is successful, the thrill of conquering a new mountain is immeasurable.
My dreamy boyfriend and I met a lovely English/Jamaican lady last night. She relocated to several new environments seemingly effortlessly. Since my boyfriend lived in England for a while, they had plenty of stories to share.
I’m the person who has to take the same routes to work, church, etc. Thus sparing even a local adventure. Which I’ll admit, I don’t really want. Adventures are preferable in controlled, contained environments. I’ll take the “safe” adventure, thank you. Then I’ll brag about how “devil may care” I am.
c. 2011
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