Saturday, June 16, 2012

I'm a People-Person...another Character at the Cafe

Most people go to the coffee shop to work peacefully, meet with a friend to chat, etc. Yes, many go to meet new people, have a lively discussion or two. Very few people want to be accosted by Butch Bluebird.

Butch is a very enterprising, high rolling business type. We don’t actually know what he does. He supposedly runs 47 different companies….At a coffee shop with an outdated computer and a flip phone. He brings people together, in the business sense. He’s here to network, and network, he does. Few people forget Butch.

All of the other regulars are on to his scam. We all know word for word his schpeel.
Sidles up to unsuspecting victim; usually an attractive female, who he calls “sweetheart.” Unsuspecting targets soon are regretting their seemingly innocent stop into the coffee shop well into their conversation with him, which starts out innocently enough. He’ll give a little compliment. Then it’s, Can you help me get online? Then it’s What do you do? Do you need money to do it? And then it spirals out of control from there.

Whatever you do, happens to be just what Butch is looking for, be it a nursing student, a copywriter, or a computer tech. It’s going to be big, you’ve got to get in on this.

He’ll tell you all about it in a blur of non-sequiturs, curse words and racist comments. One idea is to replace all of the light posts owned by Duke Energy, and set them up with wifi to report outages quicker. He’s working on the hydrogen car; “we’re ready to go on this.” Gold mines, “we have a lot of money invested in this.” Oh, and he’ll act all creepy with your kids too.

His flip phone is always nearby to show how important he is. His brother works for Congress. He knows a guy, who knows a guy who knows Lou Gossett Jr. [Great guy]. Most people will go outside if they are going to be on a loud call while sitting nearby. Not Butch. We are privy to a one-sided conversation, by which you can tell what the other side is saying. They don't really know what he's talking about either.

It's good entertainment.

c. 2012