Got Milk?

Leslie with her Boobzie coozie
c. bsm

My friend Leslie, who is new mother to beautiful, Lorelei was sharing with me her adventures in breastfeeding. I had my own ignorant biases, which evolved after learning a little more about it.

It definitely has its share of stress. She  seems to have a really great attitude about it. She shared with me some really funny stories.

She said that she had no idea how her life would become so consumed with it. Breast milk waits for no one. When you are full, you’ve got to pump, no ifs, ands or buts. She no longer has to pump every two hours, but is able to do it a more convenient three times a day. She plans to do a triathlon in a few weeks, but she knows she’s going to have interrupt it to pump. 

You can’t run 8 miles with full boobs. you have to drain them. It’s just uncomfortable.

Not only is it a time adjustment, but it is also a space adjustment. You have to carry all of this paraphernalia with you; bustiers, blankets, bottles, pumps, etc. Missing even one of these things can thwart your routine dramatically.

Gone are the days of carefree quick stops when you can just carry a sassy clutch. You will now require lugging a playpen with you everywhere. And don’t think you can get away without a few of those things  here and there. I really don’t need all of this for my scholarship interview. Because your body is intuitive like that and will choose that particular time to let loose. 

She has a special bustier that she wears. It’s like a Madonna bra with milk jugs attached.

She wears this so she can do other stuff while pumping. So she cooks breakfast dressed like a femme-bot so she can pump at the same time.

I asked her what her funniest pumping experiences were. She mentioned a few times when she had just gotten the timing off and had to pump on the spot. An unexpected moment at a Panthers' game found her running to the car to pump.

Most normal people would get in the back seat. Not me. I get all situated and realize I’m right next to the sidewalk, in full view of everyone going in to the game. I think, Oh, this is probably not the best of ideas. Most would move to the backseat at this point, but I just stayed in the front seat.

She walked through the Mummies of the World exhibit in a button down shirt and a cami. The shirt covered  Lorelei’s head.

 People would kind of notice and walk away.

Another time she had to pump in the Chuck E Cheeze parking lot. This time she had her dog with her. A thirteen-year-old girl, who just happened to be there, unwittingly asked to play with the dog. The next thing she knew the whole family there playing with her dog while she was breastfeeding.

One thing I didn’t know is that you can drink occasionally while breast-feeding. [This was confirmed to me by a nurse who teaches breast feeding]. Leslie enjoys her beer adorned with her Boobzie coozie.

c. 2012